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shocked

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No wonder Florian thinks he's a grown-up already. He was telling everyone what to do this afternoon while his parents were gone and everyone was doing it, except for Mrs Ducas, and even she gave in after Lady Andromeda yelled at her for a while. But anyone would!

Lady Andromeda is Melina Malaspina's mum--they're Ethiopians by way of Byzantium. I asked Dorian Wilkes once if he was Ethiopian, like Melina Ducas, which was her name back then, and he laughed at me the same way that Jon Dashwood did when I was talking about Grecian Love, which was very rude! And then he told Colette Saint-Germain and she laughed at me, too! It was a perfectly reasonable question! They look like Melina Malaspina!

Lady Andromeda is nice most of the time but she can be really mean, and when she yells it echoes around inside of your head. She told me that I am not as nice as I think I am when I asked her about Dashwood, whom I do not like, but I do not want him to die (he was bleeding out of his nose very badly and looked like he was about to fall over). I am not sure that I know what she means by that yet. But she was very impressed that I knew that Andromeda was the name of the princess of Ethiopia, although she said that her parents certainly never chained her to a rock for a monster.

I don't understand why people were letting Florian tell them what to do all afternoon. Charis is older, even if she is Illegitimate. She says he makes good decisions, but what if he didn't? I suppose that's why he reads all of those long boring books. He listened to Marco and Charis and Alastor and Mr Vincenti, but then he made his own decisions and they followed him. Doesn't anyone realise that he is not a tiny grown-up? I felt very sorry for him when he was telling Alastor how much he wanted his mother. I am so glad I don't have to be him. Theo reads long boring books, but he doesn't have to make decisions like that.

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tired

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I am Really Impressed by Kat’s sneakiness. Really, really impressed, actually. I wish I could be as sneaky as that, but I don’t have much guile at all. Alastor says that’s all right, he doesn’t always have so much either, but I rather wish I did. If I were sneakier, I wouldn’t have got in trouble with Fia’s dad the way I did.

Fia was at the manor for her brother’s handfasting (to another boy! it was very Ancient Greek!) but of course we couldn’t play or even say anything to each other. Even though it’s a really big manor and we probably could have without the grown-ups seeing. Silvia tried to talk her into it, but Fia was really stubborn. And so Silvia and Aelia mostly just played with me and I feel a little guilty about that now, because they were Fia’s friends first. Maybe I should have run off and shoo’d them toward her, but I rather like having girl friends and well… I think maybe I’m a rather selfish person sometimes.

Florian was hanging on all the big kids again. Especially the one called Tom Forrester. Alastor told me about him, he’s always competing with someone called St Paul for marks in Defence. He is very pretty. Mercutio—who’s Florian’ step-brother and very tricky, like Loki from Norse myths—was with Tom a lot too. I don’t know if he and Florian are happy with each other.

Dad is still being really strange. I guess he’s not as stupid as Kat’s dad—who gets the All Time Stupid Grown-Up Award—and I don’t really want Fia’s dad anymore but it would be nice to have a dad that got along with people.

I’ll probably sneak into Alastor’s room to get the old uniforms while he’s at Dylan’s house tomorrow and Theo’s out somewhere. I hope he hasn’t set any traps on his closet.

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frustrated

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Alastor’s peculiar friend is going home this afternoon. He’s not always so bad, but Alastor forgets other people are alive when he’s around and I really hate that. But I don’t know if I want him to go. Which is silly, because whether or not Dylan is here, Alastor will always go looking for Florian, it’s just…

I don’t even know why I care! Florian is pretty and clever and all, but he doesn’t even like me much and I don’t even like him much anymore, but he went and became Theo’s friend and Alastor’s friend and now he’s even Kat’s and it’s all my fault and… He got Kat in trouble. But that was my fault too because I told her to write to him to get bat droppings.

And it's not even that I'm lonely, cos I'm not. I have Silvia and Aelia to play with now and I really like Aelia, lots, it's just... I don't know. I feel so contrary. These last few days of summer are stretching on forever.

And I want to know how Dylan makes his hair all different colours. Because that looks like a really, really useful spell to know.

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okay

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The ceremony—the Court, it’s called—was awfully boring but it got better afterwards. I couldn’t talk to Fia cos of being stupid before but I did wave at her when her parents were distracted by the other grown-ups. She didn’t wave back though. Dad left awfully early and then vanished but he was home at breakfast. I think maybe he got in a fight with someone at the party. Like he always does.

I got to meet Aelia again (who I like awfully even though it’s hard talking to her sometimes, because I don’t have any Italian and my Latin isn’t very conversational) and a girl named Silvia who’s nice and also a boy named Douglas who’s a mundane. Or nearly. His cousin is Florian’s half-sister, which I didn’t know he had. I’ve never really met anyone from Mundania before except Alastor’s friend Gresham but they don’t seem to be much alike. I think Florrie’s half-sister must have rescued him from the mundanes. He seems rather confused, but that’s not his fault, since he was raised by mundanes like Mowgli was raised by wolves.

There were babies there, too. Nice babies, not like Heloise. Heloise ate too much at the party and got sick. Which was only what she deserved.

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embarrassed

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Granddad has already left to go to the Leffoys’ and so have the Abbotts, but the rest of us are waiting for Dylan. Alastor says he should be here soon. I hope so because I’m getting tired of waiting.

Dad did a sermon about Fia’s dad this morning and how maybe he shouldn’t be so important in the government because even if his politics are good his morals and character aren’t. It was very embarrassing to listen to and by the end of it I wanted to hide under the pew. Usually I like church but today was horrible! I think I understand how Alastor must feel when Dad does his sermons against Greek Love.

I asked Alastor what was so great about Theo and Florrie’s stupid Machiavelli and he says he doesn’t know, he hasn’t actually read it but his friend Gresham has and he does know stuff about the hero of the book. He was named Cesare Borgia and he was the pope’s illegitimate son! He also led the pope’s armies. He might have slept with his sister (who was the pope’s daughter.) Her name was Lucretia. She poisoned people (maybe) and had a baby called the infans romanus that people think might have been her brother’s or her father's but might just have been a servant’s. Cesare killed one of her husbands.

Obviously, it’s a good thing we don’t listen to the pope. Even if there’s a different one now. I wonder if Florian knows all this stuff about Cesare.

Dylan’s here now. Maybe I’ll write more when I get home.

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better

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Tea with Mira was really nice. I’m glad I had her over. And that it was just me and her and our mums. I feel so crowded here. I wish Dad hadn’t told the Abbotts they could stay here. Theo’s been my friend for years but I’m even annoyed with him now. And I hate Heloise. I especially hate how Dad dotes on her. Alastor says he was just like that with me when I was a baby—or worse even—but she’s not his kid and I’m tired of it. He might be really stupid right now but he’s my dad, not hers! Just because her father is never home because of work doesn’t mean she should steal other people’s dads!

I wish they’d find another house already or a flat or something. Then Theo and I could really be friends again. And maybe I wouldn’t feel so dumb and inferior all the time.

Alastor says cheer up, there’s only one more week or so ‘til school. He’s been really nice to me lately. I guess maybe I’ve been nicer to him too. It’s not that I ever really hated him, it just always used to bug me that he’d take my books without asking. And that he’d still try to help me play with Mary Poppet even when I was old enough to play with her myself, which always made me feel like a baby. It probably helped that he finally stopped calling me Jenny-Bunny too.

I’m really, really glad I had tea with Mira. I feel better than I have in a long while.

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exhausted

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If that really is Lord Leffoy like Alastor says, then maybe Snowy doesn’t actually hate me and was really just flying back to be with her.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything to make her hate me except maybe borrow her peacock. But I gave it back! (Well, he flew back on his own but I didn’t stop him.) And she missed all the bat droppings. I’m glad I’ll get to meet her now. She was dressed like a boy when she rode, with a big old hat with a million feathers and breeches and everything and she looked a lot like Florian. I’d like to dress like her or Florian.

I’m awfully sleepy. Maybe I’ll take a nap. Alastor says he isn’t surprised and I probably used up all my energy being miserable. Maybe he’s right.

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apathetic

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I can’t post my letter to Fia. Cause her mum’s just going to send it back again.

And it’s been two days and Snowy Nivello the peacock is still gone.

Even peacocks don’t like me.

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miserable

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Fia is probably never going to speak to me again. I am so DUMB. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Words cannot express how dumb I am. I am going to go hide under my bed covers and never, ever, ever come out. Not even for supper.

I shouldn’t have gone to see Fia. Then she wouldn’t be in so much trouble and MAGISTER KYTELER wouldn’t hate me and what if that was the MINISTER he came home with? It might be. I didn’t get a good look at her face. Whoever she is I bet she hates me now TOO. I hope they don’t hate Fia ‘cause of me. ‘Cause they shouldn’t. Fia’s not dumb at all. I am.

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jealous

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Alastor will probably be here for a couple more days. Maybe. Unless someone else wants him to stay the night. Stupid Alastor. He gets to do everything. I’d like to go sleep over at people’s houses but the only one of my friends I’d even be allowed to do that with is Theo and he’s been sleeping over HERE for weeks. Dad doesn’t like Kat’s dad anymore than he does Fia’s mum. Maybe I should ask Mum and Dad if I can have Mira over. Mira’s mum likes Mum, anyhow, so that’s a good sign. Mum and Mrs Abbott are fussing over Heloise because she started reading stuff from the newspaper out loud. I feel like somebody draped an invisibility cloak on me.

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sleepy

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Mum got us out of the house as soon as Grand-dad and Dad started fighting. Theo wandered off into the Bois but Mum took me to Florian’s house so she could have tea with Florian’s maman while me and Florian played outside. He has a wolf whose name is Caradow. (This is very funny because I heard Alastor call his dumb friend Dylan the same name when they didn’t know I could hear them.)

Florian says he sent Kat the bat droppings for Bill’s bed. I told him about the piskies went after Bill when we all stayed over at Theo’s. He agreed that the piskies had very good taste. Florian and Kat ought to be friends, never mind their families. I hope they will be when school starts.

It’s not fair. Kat’s in Avalon College and her family is really upset, but Avalon wants her. Magistra Chattox said they’d take her without any fees, and the Pendry family can’t afford to turn that down. So she will be in Avalon with Florian. And I’ll be stuck in Caerleon with Bill.

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angry

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Mum just came up with my dinner. I am so. Very. Bored. I don’t think I care what Alastor says, I’d rather have to fast and fast instead of being shut up in here all day. I can’t concentrate on any of my books, all I can think about is what a nice sunny day I’m missing. It’s so lovely outside and I’m missing all of it and it’s no fair, no fair at all.

I hate my Dad. Lots. I meant it when I called him a big meanie. And I’m not taking back what I said about him letting me go if I were Alastor either, because he would. He might yell at Alastor for other stuff but he never acts like Alastor is some BABY that can’t protect itself. I bet it’s cause Alastor’s a BOY. Right now I wish I was a boy.

I wonder if Lord Leffoy felt like this when she was a girl. I bet that’s why she wore trousers.